Nostalgia

Nostalgia. what a great feeling to have. And at the same time I hate it.
It makes me remember things about the past.
Nostalgia only gives me remorse.

Freedom. .

Oh how lucky the birds are, Flying in the endless sky.
Lucky are the fishes in the vast ocean.
With that kind of freedom, What would you do?
I'm a Bird but trapped in a cage
I'm also a Fish. But trapped in my own aquarium

Save?

When you can't save yourself, Can someone else save you?

Regret?

I do not wish to be a time traveller, For everything that has happened, Happened for a reason.
I do wish I could undo some mistakes I have made. But the road only goes forward.
Regret lingers in me. And its eating me deep. I don't know how long I can cage the animal in my head
My chest is about to explode.  All I can do is take a deep breath. And look ahead.

Human?

My mind is hazy, My body is shaking, My bones are shivering, My eyes empty like a dark abyss. underneath this skin, there is a human. But why do I feel like I'm dead already. or maybe I'm lost already.

Disappointment

Do you hate yourself? she asked me. I said yes, I hate myself more than anyone. When she heard that she just sat there and played with the straw in her cup. After a while of just staring into nothing she stood up and said, I'm sorry goodbye. And there I saw her vanish before my eyes, I was left in the diner with pancakes in front of me. nothing I could have done but sigh.

Mirage.

I know I don't belong here. I know no one will understand me. It was fate that told me that I should be alone. I never rejected any help but they were the ones that gave up. And I was left waiting for a hand to reach out. I walk around with a blank face because I have given up. I keep wasting effort that I knew had no results. They told me to work hard, But for what? Now I look in the mirror and can't help to be sad, I don't even know my self any more. Its been 3 years since I have been locked up inside my room. Then I wrote about random things on the internet to get it off my chest. But nothing changed. I'm going to stop this charade, I was no Oasis, But surely I was a mirage...